


'Baby-sitting'

by imbadatlove



Series: One and the Same [4]
Category: Little Nightmares (Video Game)
Genre: Alternate Universe - Canon Divergence, Alternate Universe - Domestic, Cussing, Dialogue Heavy, Drabble, Gen, Humor, Light Flirting, Smoking, Teasing
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2021-03-03
Updated: 2021-03-03
Packaged: 2021-03-16 03:34:03
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,975
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/29818794
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/imbadatlove/pseuds/imbadatlove
Summary: --"I doubt raising Six is any easier. She's a tyrant.""She's not, actually," The Lady grumbles defensively, but her hand is already sneaking towards The Thin Man's inside pocket, the thought of nicotine all of a sudden very appealing. He hums nonchalantly and allows her to take the box and lighter, watching with a smirk as she fumbles and lights it with a shaking desperation. Then he waits for the nicotine to hit her, becauseallof their interactions start like this."She's already chewed through ten of my kimonos," The Lady blubbers, "They were specially made! Tailored and designed by the best of the best! She's always hungry--did you know she tried to bite my hand off the other day?!"The Thin Man gasps in a mocking fashion,"The audacity of that child!"--Alternatively: The Thin Man and The Lady share their struggles with parenting.
Relationships: The Lady & The Thin Man (Little Nightmares)
Series: One and the Same [4]
Series URL: https://archiveofourown.org/series/2177634
Comments: 54
Kudos: 351





	'Baby-sitting'

**Author's Note:**

> This idea hit me as soon as I got out of bed so I scrambled to write it. It's a break from all the angst I've wrote recently. This is just a funny little drabble, so don't expect stellar writing. Based on the Time-loop theory.
> 
> It's got that Teen warning because it includes: smoking and cussing. Not a lot of the latter, but it's in there.
> 
> A little bit of slash if you squint. Nothing explicit. Does that require a pre-slash tag? What is that. I am confusion.

She's been observing him for ten minutes now. The two of them are at one of the few still intact playgrounds in The Pale City. It had been a while since they'd last seen each other, so they decided to arrange a meet-up and figured they could take the children with them. There's Mono, Six, The Runaway Kid, now affectionately dubbed 'RK', a girl with ginger pigtails that has a weird fascination with spoons, and a chubbier child who carries around a lollipop. The five of them are getting along well; Mono and Six are giggling on the seesaw, RK has brought a little nome with him and is showing him around, and the other two are playing on any rides the two adults present deemed safe. Well, getting along for the most part, anyway. The Lady has had to put Six in time out twice because she'd tried to consume an entire metal pole, only to be allowed back to play again and attempt to pin RK and take a chunk out of him. She knows Six is a handful due to her insatiable hunger, but when she sees another child holding their stomach too, she grows suspicious. 

Then there's him, perched on a bench at the other end of the playground, with a cigarette in his hand. He's not involved with the children at all, only silently watching them, if he's even doing that. Knowing his connection to the transmission, The Thin Man probably has his favourite show going on in his head right now. She's irritated by his behaviour, and decides to finally confront him. He doesn't even spare her a glance as she approaches.

"You know, the premise behind baby sitting is that you actively engage with the kids." The Lady begins as she approaches, voice sweet like honey, "Or, at the bare minimum, _you_ _fucking feed them."_

**"I assure you, I am actively engaged--"**

"The only thing you're engaged in is your cigarette."

**"--And give me more credit than that; they ate before we came here."**

"I just caught Six trying to chomp down on a metal pole. Then she proceeded to try and eat one of the children."

 **"Her technique could use some work, but she's got the right spirit."** He comments, basking in the taste of nicotine.

The Lady balks at his response, so unlike him, "You'd turn a blind eye to the consumption of that innocent child?"

When The Thin Man looks at her, only now acknowledging her existence, he's grinning like the Cheshire cat. **"Oh, now isn't that rich."** He chuckles. The Lady kicks a foot against his, and even hidden behind her mask, he knows she's scowling, disappointed at herself for taking the bait so easily. Before she's even aware of it, she's taking a seat next to him in one fluid motion. 

"Why are you here then, anyway? If not only to smoke." 

**"As you put it, 'baby-sitting'."** He takes another drag of his cigarette, **"Truth be told, I've learned that I can't let Mono out of my sight."**

The Lady rolls her eyes, "You're _still_ caught up about the betrayal?"

 **"As a matter of fact, _yes,_ but that wasn't what I was referring to." **He stubs out the end of the cigarette then rests his arm on the back of the bench, behind the Lady's head, **"I can't turn my back for one second without Mono disappearing into another plain of existence. I decided to teach him about his power and how to use it, and I'd wager it was the worst decision of my life. I'm sure he's getting a kick out of almost giving me a heart attack."**

The Lady guffaws at that, "Must be your amateur parenting skills."

 **"I doubt raising Six is any easier. She's a tyrant."** As if confirming his observation, in the background, Six none-too-gently pounces on the chubby child and snatches his lollipop out of his hands. She shoves it into her mouth and bites down, splitting the lollipop in half with a loud snap. The poor boy looks like he's about to cry.

"She's not, actually," The Lady grumbles defensively, but her hand is already sneaking towards The Thin Man's inside pocket, the thought of nicotine all of a sudden very appealing. He hums nonchalantly and allows her to take the box and lighter, watching with a smirk as she fumbles and lights it with a shaking desperation. She tilts up her mask to press the cigarette between her lips. Then he waits patiently for the nicotine to hit her, because _all_ of their interactions start like this.

"She's already chewed through ten of my kimonos," The Lady blubbers, "They were specially made! Tailored and designed by the best of the best! She's always hungry--did you know she tried to bite my hand off the other day?!"

The Thin Man gasps in a mocking fashion, **"The audacity of that child!"**

"I know!" She responds exasperatedly. The Thin Man bites back a laugh, "She bullies my staff, too! She likes to stomp unnecessarily whenever she's near Roger, and then trash the kitchen when the Chefs are sleeping!" She pulls at her hair, "I don't remember ever being that bad as a child!" 

Now _this,_ perks The Thin Man's interest. **"Oh?"** He challenges, eyebrows raised and grin spread wider. 

The Lady glowers at him. "Yes, yes, I'm aware, the tower was lonely and scary and whatever. A tale as old as time." She dismisses with a wave of her hand, "Still. I didn't go around trying to eat you back then." 

It's The Thin Man who's reaching for another cigarette this time, **"I think I would've rather you had, actually."**

"If you still want that, it can be arranged. I haven't had a good meal down at the Maw in a while," She snarls.

The Thin Man laughs into his cigarette, **"I can't tell if that's a threat or a poor attempt at flirting."**

The Lady is infinitely grateful her mask covers her now flushed face. Despite her much smaller size, she reaches up and shoves The Thin Man in the shoulder. In response, he huffs and retracts the arm behind her, letting it fall into his lap. Silence falls upon them and The Lady tries her hardest not to linger on how cold her neck feels now his arm isn't there. They watch over the children; RK is now running away from Six and Mono has now taken to showing the nome the little static particles he can will into his hand. The Lady watches him with quaint curiosity and fascination.

"Regarding Mono," The Lady speaks up then, "Why don't you just turn all the TVs off? Then he can't travel through them, right?" 

The Thin Man mumbles something so quiet she doesn't hear it. The Lady looks at him and sees his fedora covering more of his face than usual, that smirk from before is gone. "Pardon?" 

**"He knows how to teleport."**

The Lady pushes herself up and faces him completely. There's no mistaking the smile in her voice, "You can't be serious." The Thin Man says nothing, opting to cross his arms over his chest instead.

"Mono," She's barely able to get the name out, teetering on the edge of a fit of giggles. The Thin Man peers up at being addressed like that. "You taught a nine year old how to teleport." 

Well, when she puts it like _that._

 **"In hindsight, it was stupid."** It's too late to try and defend himself, the Lady is already hunched over and clutching her waist as laughter racks her small frame, **"I thought if I could teach him how to use his power, he would be less scared of me because he would be able to fight back if he thought I was a threat, or something."**

"All you taught him--was how to fuck with you." The Lady chuckles, "And all at such a young age! You've really dug yourself deep, Mono." 

**"Well, if that's what I had to do to get him to trust me, I suppose it was worth it."**

She scoffs, lightly smacking her hand against his chest, "Always such a sap, you are." She leans back against the bench again, her shoulder brushing against his elbow. "Six didn't trust me either, but that doesn't mean I thought I should train her in the dark arts so she can feed on the souls of whoever she pleases."

**"God help us all if you ever did that."**

"Not yet, I'm waiting for her teenage years first." 

**"Oh joy."** For all his sarcasm and the dark teasing, The Thin Man is smiling. A genuine one at that, too. It's nice to be able to talk to Six like this, instead of devoting his life to hating her guts, like he had in the previous cycles. He clears his throat to rid him of those thoughts, **"How did you bond with Six, then?"**

The Lady grimaces at that question, eyes widening and pressing her cigarette to her lips. "Ooh, let's not go down that route." The Thin Man snorts.

**"Well, from your chiding and teasing, your parenting skills must be _miles_ superior. Why don't you bless me with some of your wisdom?" **

She shifts uncomfortably. 

**"It's fine, I can wait."** He reassures acerbically, bringing the cigarette up. 

"We ate all the guests."

The Thin Man almost inhales the fucking thing. 

In all honesty, it really shouldn't be surprising, nor gauge the reaction of him coughing so painfully he's afraid he's going to hack up a lung. She said it so offhandedly, you could almost compare it to, _'Hi, how's the weather?'._ When he looks back at her, her posture is rather rigid and her shoulders are shaking. 

**"Yeah, I think I'll stick with my own techniques, thanks."**

She can't hold back her laughter anymore after he tosses that out. It's a loud and fruity tune and The Thin Man decides he likes making The Lady laugh. "I'm glad my wisdom could be of use," 

The words drown out again. The Lady is sitting closer now, her shoulder propped up against The Thin Man's arm. Yes, he concludes, this is much better than the vengeful path he took before. The pain the betrayal brought will always linger within him, there is no doubt about that, but its hold on him has ceased. He no longer goes about his days plotting his revenge for the one in the little yellow raincoat, or the one in the flowing kimono. He can accept that what happened, happened, and he is allowed to start anew with Six. He doesn't have to hold that contempt for her, and he's glad he doesn't, as sitting here with her, infectious smiles on both their faces and hands settled so close to each other's they could almost touch, makes him happier than he's been in years. 

The touching moment is ruined, however, when there's a shout from the playground, "Hey, guys! Want to see a magic trick?"

When The Thin Man looks towards the source of the noise, he sees Mono's eyes already boring holes into him, a mischievous grin on his face.

_Oh no._

The Thin Man is up on his feet instantly, pointing an accusing finger at him, **"Mono! Don't you dare! If you do this--there'll be no TV for a week!"**

Beside him, The Lady is giggling, and the kids in front are cheering Mono on. Mono tilts his head, as if contemplating his options.

**"I mean it! You'll be grounded!"**

The Thin Man is approaching now, warping forward a few feet in an attempt to prevent Mono from teleporting away. As soon as he gets close enough to use his static energy to pull Mono to his hand, the boy laughs and zaps out of existence. 

_**"GODDAMNIT MONO--"** _

**Author's Note:**

> -I wrote this on 4 hours of sleep please forgive me
> 
> -Mono and Six are devil children to raise, i do pity their parents :(
> 
> -is this technically self care LOL
> 
> -i need some more thin dad and lady mom in my life
> 
> -so you writers better get on that
> 
> -also, irrelevant, i hate smoking, but god did i take one look at the thin man in game and think, you look like you smoke a pack a day at least. it made me happy to see him smoking in the concept art LOL. the lady can smoke too because they're both stressed parents.


End file.
